Who would you rather have as your boss at a McDonalds: George W or John Kerry?

Georgey B, of course! He seems best qualified for a job at a fast food chain.

Why are you an actor/musician?

Because there were no more openings for bee collector at the job fair.

You wake up severely hungover in las vegas hotel room with no memory of the previous night to find yourself clutching a whip and situated in bed between a snoring clarence thomas (wearing nothing but a white leather mini skirt and fishnets) and condoleeza rice in a catwoman suit. What are the first words out of your mouth?

“Ah, it must be Wednesday.”

You are running for president in 2008. What is your campaign slogan?

“Vote For Me. I did not have sexual intercourse with Clarence Thomas nor Condoleeza Rice in Las Vegas.”

What, if anything, do you have in common with Youth?

Painfully good fashion sense.

What did you like most about being in Berkeley?

The Berkeley Bowl… delicious produce and more variety than a benetton ad.

It is the future and the borough of Queens has been given over exclusively to women. Men, while not allowed to live or work there, are allowed 24 hour visitor passports as well as weekend passes - but at a very high cost. To the women: do you think you'd wanna live there? To the men: how often do you think you'd visit?

Was this Bloomberg’s idea?!?  Damn him!!! I guess I’d have to make a monthly visit to the beer garden (that’s if all those women don’t turn it into the long island iced tea-garden or a cosmopolitan-garden or something.

While browsing thru the Schomburg library you happen upon an undiscovered letter in which Frederick Douglas outs himself as a huge leather queen. According to the letter, he and Honest Abe spent a memorable weekend once in a cozy log cabin. Do you go public with this finding?

No need to go public with it. It’s common knowledge that Freddy D. is a leather queen. I mean, look at that hair. As for honest Abe, we all know he freed much more than just the slaves in his time.

Which character in Passing Strange would you like to sit next to on a long plane ride? Which would you not like to sit next to? And why.

Mr. Venus would be tons o’ fun. However, we might get kicked off the plane for having too much fun and being too damn fabulous. But sitting on a plane with that annoying BBC guy could prove tiresome.